Interesting what 24hours can bring. Not only did we have a rather civil night (with just one moment of ugly), we came up with a better agreement - a buy out for me so we can move on quicker. I thought it would only take a month or two for the divorce, but from what we heard it could take 6 months. That's ok. Gives me time to find a new place to live, which I will be able to afford now with the buy out.
I have discovered some cool Christian music from Plumb and Two 1 Crew that really speaks to me. Weird how something like this is actually bringing me back to the place I was spiritually when I left the convent. I need my connection now, and although I don't believe in getting on soap boxes, I have discovered a number of things lately that are what I used to call "confirmation" events. Things that come into view that show that I am being watched over. A mom of one of Dino's friends used to be a custody lawyer and gave me some great advice. A dad of another friend is a cop who offered to help me find a nice safe neighborhood in my price range. Another mom offered to sit for free while I settled this out. So much support from wonderful people has to be a blessing to sent to me. My family's support is so wonderful and I couldn't ask for better family. My parents don't know yet, but that's ok. They are visiting my sister in VA so I will tell them when they get back. Otherwise, I am feeling a good deal stronger today, and that is a blessing too.
Ramblings aside, faith will see me through, and will keep me up. I feel like I am getting back to where I was - happy-go-lucky with moral conviction. And it feels good.
Side note: I am also aware that I will be having ups and downs through this process. I am reveling now in the "up". Being realistic, I will have to face the fact that I have my down days. But we won't talk about them now :)