Thursday, January 24, 2008

Dear Lord what have I done?

Ok, so I am emotional right now. I am scared. Actually, a more accurate term would be scared shitless. The talk last night was the hardest I have ever had. And it ain't over, folks. We decided to go through arbitration, a much cheaper and faster way to divorce if we agreed totally on how to split up. We did accomplish the big talk of how to split the major stuff. We still need to discuss how to split the little stuff. We are doing a 50/50 on most, with a small concession on my part for one thing. I thought that having this talk would be a relief. You know, having it out in the open and getting the truth out there. Instead, I am sick to my stomach and so nervous I want to cry all the time. I slept about 1 hour last night I was so distraught. How is Nick going to react? How are we going to co-parent him? What is this going to look like once it is all said and done? Am I doing the right thing? Should I just put up with things for the sake of keeping Nick in a non-broken home? I feel so isolated and alone. I have wonderful friends and fabulous family that will support me 100% in this decision, but I am sooooo scared anyway.

Ok, enough babbling. I have to go, fill you in later on more details.

1 comment:

Lucy T said...

A lot of changes since I last read. Hugs Cryssy. Is separation without immediate divorce a possibility?
Are you really calling on the Lord or is that just an expression?