Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Bad Night

After a rather strange day at work, I had settled in with Dino to watch a movie during the ice/sleet/rain storm last night. I was stressed, and it was really getting to me. Tony walked in around 7 p.m. and immediately received a phone call. From what I could hear as he walked upstairs, it was his lawyer. I heard him say "yes, she is home" and then he was out of ear shot. Knowing they were talking about me really got me thinking. When he came downstairs about 5 minutes later, I asked where the papers were. He smugly stated that the call he just got was about that and that the lawyer was putting in more "little details that I want". Being stressed out already, I bit the bait and a huge battle erupted. I am tired of him playing games with me and having this attitude like he was the king. I laid into him and he shot back. It was not pretty. I followed him up to the bedroom after he called me trailer trash and blew up again. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't. I am actually ashamed that he was able to set me off so quickly. It's the one thing that he has always been good at - hitting all the right buttons to make me nuts.

Once we calmed down a bit, he started to play more games, stating that he called his PA lawyer and that lawyer said I had no ownership in the PA house since it was bought only 3 months ago (yeah right, with money from our house, how is it not mine too?). That I was probably planning this from the start. His phone kept ringing off the hook and he kept saying it was his lawyers. That he was gearing up to "bury me" and that I was not going to have anything (yes, he said this in front of Dino again - bastard). I shrugged it off and said that he was only hurting his son and wasn't that making him dad of the year? I had called MJ for some morale support just prior to this and felt a little stronger and more calm.

I then followed him to the basement where he was hanging up with his "lawyer" and by the way he was speaking, I could tell it was his family - either his mom or his sisters. He was playing me again, and again I fell into the trap. For some reason, I got suddenly calm and clear headed. I basically told him that his immaturity was really sad and couldn't we just deal with this as adults and please leave Dino out of it? I was disgusted that my former in-laws would be playing along and being just as vindictive as Tony was being, but what should I expect. They are just as pathetic as he is. So much for being "part of the family" huh?

Anyway, he calmed down and I said that I really am concerned that Dino is being scarred for life from this, and that he really needed to stop the crap. Dino is already showing signs of taking sides, and that is what I am trying to avoid. Can he please stop the verbal abuse, egging on, and vindictive behavior because if it hurt me, it hurt Dino. I wanted badly to give him a "what for", but I knew that would serve no purpose after the huge fight we had. I stated that he can hate me if he wants to, but to show it in front of our son was more than just damaging, it was killing Dino's respect of his father. I also clarified for him yet again that if I was only out for money, that I would have taken everything and moved out and let the lawyer go after him. I did not do that for the sake of our son. I was trying to play fair, and if he wasn't going to accept that, then he should just not speak to me at all.

After that, things were a little better. Still, I had trouble sleeping and was a nervous wreck this morning. I will be taking Friday off to get to the bank to deposit money for Dino's savings that has been sitting on Tony's dresser for months. I also have to get to my bank to deposit my FSA check (yay! money to retain my lawyer!) and to get to the lawyer with the paperwork that Tony is picking up today. I am scared and nervous about this paperwork to be honest. I didn't think he wanted a court fight, but hey, if he does, so be it. I'll take out a personal loan from the bank as well, and if I have to live in an apartment for a year before I can get a house, that'll be fine too. All that matters is that we keep Dino out of it. That is all I care about.

UPDATE: Tony just called me at work with yet another threat - if I try to report him for verbal abuse, he will counter sue me and drag me in the mud. Admittedly, I said that last night out of anger, but really. Grow up dude. Get a life. I simply told him that I was at work and would not discuss this with him now. He repeated it again. I then told him that I don't want him to talk to me at all unless it is about Dino. He replied sarcastically "oh, ok" and I asked if Dino got to school ok. He said yes. I said thank you and hung up without further risk of interaction. Is it ok to admit that I am really disliking him with a passion?

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