Friday, March 28, 2008

Alone

Despite the anti-depression medication I am on, I have been having some strange feelings of loneliness. I have great family and friends, but every once in a while I get these thoughts in my head that I am going to be alone for the rest of my life. And it makes me really sad.

I don't want to be alone. Ever since I was a child, I have always thought that I would marry and have children and be surrounded by love. I have my son, and he is a blessing, but now I will not have that significant other to be with. I actually have not had that for a few years now, but for some reason it stings more now. I am starting to think that since I will be 40 this year, I have no hopes of finding someone to spend my life with - someone who will appreciate and understand me. Someone who at least puts up with me!

Sigh.

Good news, though. Tony has signed the settlement agreement and now I have to sign it with my lawyer. It is almost done. Wow. Weird feelings.

And, we spoke like real adults today about what we will be splitting up in the house and the plans we have for Dino. So even if I will be alone at least I will be less stressed!

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