Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide

It has not been a pretty few days at Chez GeekChick. Since Saturday, Tony has been the biggest A-hole on the planet. I am not sure what turned him against me so suddenly. Stupid me, I thought the fact that he was being "pleasant" meant that we could have a civil relationship and raise our son together. HAHAHAHAHA, she laughed maniacally.

I know he had a date on Saturday. He had told me he would be out all night. Ha. He surprised me at 10 p.m. walking in the door. He was nasty and rude. Big surprise. Date went bad, did it?

Since then he has been unbearably hostile. Last night was the cap. When he arrived home at 8:15 p.m. he just about bit my head off when I told him I was running out to get gas in my car. I left, feeling a strange uneasiness in the pit of my stomach.

When I arrived home, he was in the kitchen and I could tell he was gearing up for a fight. I am so used to this in him, so I could avoid it. He asked me something about a reciept I had so he could submit it to his FSA. I told him I would copy it for him since I needed it too. He gave me crap about how he was going to lose all this money because he didn't have the receipts. He then called me a bitch and said I was f-ing him over and costing him money (no doubt stemming from the loan that he applied for to give me the buy out). I sweetly replied that he had the chance to take me to court (which he knows would have cost him MORE money) and that he chose to go this route. You make your bed, you lie in it, dog.

He cursed some more, and I promptly went to the basement and gathered the medical receipts for his FSA and left them on his desk. When I went back upstairs, he then disappeard into the basement. I was helping Dino clean up after his snack five minutes later when we heard Tony cursing and freaking out in the basement. Dino was about to go down and tell him that cursing is bad. I steered him away, telling him to leave daddy be - I didn't want Tony taking out his bad mood on Dino, as he would do. Just then, Tony appeared and was stomping through the house. I asked what was wrong.

"Nothing! Just leave me the F--K alone! I don't want anything from you!"

Real nice. I could feel the anger welling up inside me. Who the hell was he to talk to me like that in front of our son?

I reminded him that he needed to control his anger in front of his son and that the parenting class he took should have taught him about being selfish and not thinking of his kid. At that point he said that maybe he would just move out. I encouraged him to do so, and quickly. Ok, I may have said something like, "Really? Tonight?"

I know, not nice of me. But really, how much can one person take?

I had trouble sleeping last night (I know, big surprise!) as I thought about this sudden shift in his personality. Truth be told, he has ALWAYS been like this. It's just that his venom had not been directed at me in this way. Ok, that's a lie too. He had once threatened to kill me in the heat of anger. Abusiveness is in his nature.

It wasn't until the wee hours this morning that I realized why the change happened and why it seems to be sudden. On Friday, I signed off on the PA property. It was officially his alone. That was the last thing he needed from me to complete the settlement for my part. It was the final piece for him to feel like he was once again in total control. Now that he is "in control" again, he doesn't care about how bad things get. Funny, he is not really in control. He is bound by the legal agreement as well. He has to meet certain deadlines. I guess in his twisted and sick mind he is "free" to do what he wants now.

I started to write the story of our life together (albeit a brief cliff-notes kinda version) and I began to cry. I can now see the pattern of verbal and mental abuse. His need to dominate and control was evident from the start and I was just blind to it. Someday maybe I will post it. It's long though. Or maybe I will publish it and make tons of money and take my kid to Disney all by myself and show him that we are better off without him. Just sayin'.

1 comment:

Domestic Goddess said...

I say go to Disney anyways. I'd love to take my boys, but it ain't happening soon, for obvious reasons.

Sigh. I'm glad this is almost over.