Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Open Letter to the Internets

Dear Internets,

I write this with much trepidation. You are sucking the life out of me. No point in beating around the bush about it. I have come to value blunt honesty, and have decided it would be best to be equally as forthright about the affect you are having on my daily routine.

See, I used to have this blog that I loved. I was not big on it at first, but it grew on me. Being new to the blogging world, I was pointedly selfish. I wrote only what concerned me. I put in words the things that I found humorous, poignant, or interesting. Then I found that others had done the same. And I liked their blogs better than my own. And I felt small compared to their greatness.

Lately, I have not loved blogging. Something about going to the well written blogs of others and finding myself less deserving of praise (or even readership) drained the creative juices out of me. I find that I would rather lurk here or here or even here (not to mention here but that goes without sayin'). Then there is this blog that defies any standard. Of course there is also this one which for some inexplicable reason is blocked at work that I was just turned on to (thanks, DG!). I can't possibly begin to explain my feelings of ineptitude in the face of these awesome writers.

So, dear Internets, I ask you - is this fair? Really now. Not to mention this life-force-sucking-out-of-my-eyeballs link. Too many distractions!

I have a story to tell, one of my own. I have witty things I crave to write. I have ideas, desires, rants, and soapboxes. Why oh why, dear Internets, can't I do it? I sit in front of my keyboard desiring greatness, imagining myself a modern day Hemingway, only to find that I have nothing of interest to share as the keystrokes fall. Even I find myself boring! That is too sad, my friend, too sad.

Perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps I misundertand this blogging thing. Perhaps I find that I would rather be enraptured by others than enraged by own lack of skill. All I know is I can spend HOURS online reading. I don't care for the celebrity updates, or the news, or the mecca of shopping. No, I want to know about the life of someone I never met and will never know. For this I blame you, dear Internets. You have made it far too easy to spend my time being a stalker.

No, there is nothing you can do to make it up to me. I am of the firm opinion that you are a selfish bastard, only looking to hook in your next victim. You care nothing for the state of my household cleaning schedule nor the fact that I haven't eaten dinner away from the computer screen in months. You only care about yourself and how many people you can suck into your black hole! Well, this is one victim that will not go so easily into that good night. You can fight me, but I think I can win....

Right after I find out what he has posted now.

1 comment:

Domestic Goddess said...

yootoob is responsible for 99% of the evil in the world, in my humble opinion.
Hey, call. We need to discuss plans for next weekend, availability, what you need, etc, etc. Also? What are you doing this weekend? Besides packing?