Thursday, July 3, 2008

Coolness...and Totally NOT Cool

Dave is great. Just want you all to know that. The ride was adventurous to say the least ;) Traffic wasn't bad getting there. He took me to Baltimore Inner Harbor, where we had a wonderful seafood dinner overlooking the harbor and then sat and talked. We made awesome time getting down to Baltimore, but hit some heavy traffic on the way home. We were in a bit of a rush because....

***WARNING: Strong language and adult content****
At 7:43 I checked my phone. I had 6 voice mail messages. A couple were from my sisters, but most were from my prick EX. He called at 7:12, 7:16, 7:23, and 7:30. He left messages that said it was urgent, an emergency, and that it's "real nice he couldn't get a hold of me when he needed to"... I panicked and called him immediately. Turns out, his fucking emergency was that Dino wouldn't get out of the neighbor's pool. He said he was driving to my house and dropping him off. I let him know I wasn't home. He then said I had to pick him up, that he was calling his lawyer, that he never wanted Dino again and he didn't give a shit about it. He advised me to get my lawyer. I told him the soonest I could get there would be at least 2 hours and that I would be there as soon as I can. I admit it, I wasn't nice. Neither was Tony. He called me a fucking bitch that didn't give a shit about his son. (HIS son????) He demanded to know where I was. I told him none of his fucking business and I would be there in two hours. I hung up on him.
I then called him again and said - have him ready when I get there. I hung up again before I could hear any more of his abuse. I was seething. And totally humiliated in front of Dave, who, being the sweet guy that he was, just let me vent. Seriously, I want to cut Tony's balls off and feed them to the sharks at this point...if he had any balls, that is.

I tried to put it out of my mind as Dave drove home. He knew the urgency I had. If Tony was that mad, he was taking it out on Dino. My son doesn't deserve his abuse! I made up my mind - if Tony never wants to see his son again, so be it. Dino is probably better off without a sick fucked up dad like that anyway. I will be calling my lawyer on Monday to see what can be done. No one, and I mean NO ONE is going to fuck with my kid and get away with it. He is using Dino as a pawn to continue to control and that is just fucked up and shitty in all ways....

I called my sisters to let them know I was ok, and that I was coming home to get Dino from his sick bastard dad. Then, I tried to enjoy what time Dave and I had left. I hope I didn't scare him away and we did talk about seeing each other again on Sunday to make up for this mess...

Once I got in my car and got on the main road from Dave's house (about an hour and a half later), I called Tony to let him know I was on my way. "He's sleeping."


I just said, "I'm 15 minutes away and I am coming to get him". I hung up. I took a deep breath and drove home on auto pilot. What the hell? If he was sleeping, why didn't he call me and tell me that so I wouldn't rush to pick him up? Because he is a deranged asshole that has this innate desire to fuck with people's heads. I got to the house (which now has a for sale sign, I might add) and didn't say a word to Tony. I picked up Dino, put the bags in the car in silence and drove away...

****end of adult content and strong language****

I am seriously freaked out by this entire incident. I wanted to say "screw you! Deal with our son!" but I knew Dino would suffer, and that I cannot have. I am so sad that Dino can't have a real dad, a normal dad, one that doesn't see him as something to control. I am crying because this is so seriously messed up and I can't force Tony to see how he is making his son hate him. And Dino will hate him. And Tony will blame everyone but himself....

And it looks like I am a completely single parent after all.

***Update: Turns out with a little internet searching, I cannot force Tony to take his weekends. And, the only way to get Tony out of Dino's life is to file for his parental rights to be terminated. I really think that Tony will fight that - mainly because this was just yet another attempt of his to control me. I GUARANTEE that he will call me tomorrow and demand to have Dino Saturday for the cousin's birthday party...anyway, since he is being the baby in all this, I will have to step up to the plate and try to work parenting issues out. It just sucks. Major donkey balls. g'nite!

1 comment:

Adorable Girlfriend said...

Let me begin by saying your date sounds like it was wonderful. If Dave is worth his salt, and I am sure he is, he will put this to the side and call for a second date and be the supportive good guy that you already know he can be. It's best to get this out of the way, because if he cannot handle the ex files now, he never will be able to and it won't work anyway.

As for the ex, wow! Have you considered going to therapy? I think it could help a lot with having someone to talk to and bounce ideas off about what Tony is like and how to handle him.

Secondly, it might be best to talk to the lawyer about how to establish the rules of engagement. For example, unless Dino is injured or violently ill, aka, medical reasons, Tony will not contact you when it is his turn with him. That way he cannot call you up and play these games. And games are what they are and he is trying to address his own needs by putting them on you and Dino.

It might also be good for Dino to have counseling to ensure if Tony is doing anything untoward to him, it is documented. It might also just be good for him.

Just some thoughts. Please take them as just trying to help and throw some ideas out there.

I am sending you a big internet hug and knowing that despite how tough if must feel right now, it has to get easier and it will.

You are a beautiful soul and you have made the right decision to leave Tony. He is having a hard time adjusting to this and you can stand tall by not allowing him to put that on you or Dino.