Monday, March 30, 2009

Feeling Prolific

Wasn't long ago that I couldn't think of a thing to blog about. Now it seems I have TONS of things crossing my mind these days...

J and I want to get married. There, said it. It's my blog and I'll say what I want, when I want. We love each other in a way that I never had before - hell, neither of us have had before. It's a wonderful thing. But let's not forget people, that I am not a kid or a teenager. Neither is J. We are smart about things. Please don't give me any grief over this. Seriously. I have had it up to *here* with people saying negative things about us. Enough.

Gameboy is doing fabulously. In fact, he is doing so well that it doesn't look like he qualifies for an IEP to help him. Sheesh. So if I was some dumb mom who didn't get involved or care about his success he would qualify? One of his karate buddies has been diagnosed AND has an IEP in place within 3 months. And his mom is not so bright. Goes to show ya. I'm proud of my dear boy. He and I have a good working relationship. I just hope it stays that way.

I am discovering new and exciting things - and I am finding that I am a much more powerful being than I ever gave myself credit for. I am also finding that many of the teachings I had as a child are not holding true when tested as an adult. I discovered much repression developed as a result of those teachings. I still believe in a higher power - but will I burn in hell for having sex? Ummm,sorry, no. Don't think so. And while we are on the subject - how sad is it that I am 40 years old and just discovering that sex is a beautiful thing? And how wonderful! I was married 8 years and never felt the way I do now. In fact, most of those married years were more or less being used instead of making love. So here I am in a truly giving and loving relationship and discovering what it is that people would talk about. TMI? Too bad. My blog, my rules :P

Speaking of the wonderful man I love, he comes as a packet deal. His two children will be coming along with him. We had an AWESOME weekend this past weekend. In fact, except for my moodiness two weekends ago, we have had good weekends with them since they were given to J by the courts. T and Gameboy get along really, really well and are even calling each other "buddies". C is doing her best to stay out of their way - and is a typical teenager but she just wants someone to listen to her and show her affection. It's really amazing to see how the kids have fun together. J and I have been having dialogue about how we will treat the kids and make sure we minimize the tensions. And the cool part is, we have open dialogue about the things that we don't agree on. When does that ever happen? Anyway, yesterday there was a brief time when we were able to get somewhere together (LT's baptism) and act as a family unit. It was all good until I lost my cool because of something that C did. It was mainly because I didn't understand why she does things like that. But my older sis put things into perspective for me and made me feel better about things. I am approaching how I deal with her from the wrong angle. I don't need to "deal", I need to understand and accept. So that is what I am working on.

Just a few things I have been thinking about....

3 comments:

grandmamargie said...

Well, congratulations. I hope things keep going as well as they have been and you and J can get married.

Me said...

Saw your pictures on Facebook - was that a prank for April Fool's Day or did you guys really just go get married?!

CryssyeR said...

Yes, that was a prank for April Fool's Day. It got delayed because Facebook had to "approve" the status change and stuff. But it was tons of fun! And the pic of the two of us at the courthouse is photoshopped :)