Dudes, it's soooo hard being a chick. Yes, I said chick, so sue me. I am GeekChick, afterall. Anyway, what's supposed to take only about 7 or so days a month for most women has been taking me 14. First comes the irritability. Then the moodiness and lack of sleep. Then the facial breakouts and bloating. Then more extreme moodiness, crankiness, emotional outbursts, and extreme unrest. Then more bloating and some irrational thoughts. Finally, when I think I am finally cracking and all is lost, comes the bleeding. Whew. Once that starts, everything starts to settle back down to a normal level. For a week. Then, it starts all over again. Or it might disappear for a few weeks and then the cycle starts finally.
This. Is. Not. Normal.
I am smart enough to realize that. What I don't have time for at this point is going to see the doctor and dealing with it. Once again, my avoidance tactics are amazing even to me. It's not that I don't acknowledge that they exist. Even I can see that there is something weird going on here. But I end up making all kinds of excuses - no time, inconvenient appointments, got too much to deal with at home, don't think it will last...you name it. There seems to be no end to the creative reasons that going to the doctor would suck right now. And the worst part? It's because she'll yell at me for gaining the weight back :P No, that isn't realy it. I think the real reason is because I feel that there is nothing she can do anyway. I'm 40. My eggs are old. My uterus is old. I am old (I believe the term is "advanced in age"). What-the-fuck-ever. I am not going to pay $35 for a special visit to the V doctor to be told I am old and just need to suck it up. Hell, I can do that for free! I just ask my friends.....except I think AG might kick my arse a bit....
Along with this recent bout of Raging PMS came an unwelcome unsettled feeling. I was doubting everything - even my sanity. The whole "Insecurity Gate" scandal - YUP! Hormones. No way in freaking heck I should reduce myself to that level of drival and whining. WTF is wrong with me? Seriously. The grip I needed to get was elusive. Thankfully, J is a really patient and sweet boyfriend. He is soooo good at soothing my frazzled nerves and giving me a much clearer picture of things. Wish I could have seen it myself, but dear gawd, could not for the pimples on my nose! Ok, ok, I know. I am sure there is a magic pill that will make all these symptoms go away. Tell me that it will also make me lose 50 pounds and make me pretty and you got yourself a deal!