Friday, May 15, 2009

Today My Life Changes

You know, a year ago I would never have dreamed that I would be here. "Here" being a point in my life where I am content, happy, at peace. NEVER would have dreamed it. A year ago I was sitting in my new home, crying over stress and lonliness. My little boy going off to his dad's house where the new girlfriend was being lauded as the new "IT" girl. I was home. Wallowing in self-pity. So I joined a couple of online dating sites. I found that many of the men that contacted me were players or just plain weirdos. They wanted action or they just wanted someone to lead on for awhile. I had many first dates that either scared me or just left me wondering why I was dating in the first place. I would contact someone, we would exchange numbers, we would talk and get to know one another, then we would meet up and have dinner or something. Nothing clicked. In fact, I would suddenly be dropped from their "favorites" and they would disappear. I tried to contact them again, but got nothing but crickets.

In May of last year, I met a guy, Sean, who seemed a great fit. We talked often, exchanged emails, met up twice before we agreed to tentatively see one another. It wasn't a great romance, but it was nice to have someone to spend some time with. We dated once a week or so. We also agreed that we were not "exclusive" so I left my Match.com profile as active. I received a couple of contacts, but I wasn't into dating more than one person at a time so I largely ignored them. Then, in July I received an email from a guy that was just looking to meet friends in the area. He was from out of state and didn't really know anyone. He seemed genuinely interesting. I responded that I was seeing someone, but we could be friends. He responded that he was seeing someone as well. So we struck up a friendship. And it was an easy friendship to develop. We were both in the same place in life, and both had weird relationships going on at that time.

Then, I dumped Sean because I finally figured out he was playing me - I'm a little too trusting sometimes. Then J suddenly found himself without his lady**. We talked through it, and I tried to help him see that if she was that fickle, she wasn't worth his efforts (and indeed she was not worth it, if I do say so myself). We met up one day for lunch to talk and for me to offer my friend a bit of support. After we were done, I ended up following him in my car (no, I wasn't stalking him, we were going the same direction!) and since it was a hot day, he had the top down on his convertible. I passed him at one point and yelled, "Hey hot stuff!" as I waved and drove my seperate way. Little did I know that at that moment, I was planting a seed :)

A couple of weeks later, J was in Michigan visiting friends and trying to figure out where he was going to go with everything with the kids. He desperately needed the break, and he was having a good time. I, on the other hand, was lonely and miserable and hung up on Mr. HKG (wow, remember him???) and wondering why I can't find a nice guy. J and I exchanged text messages (or they could have been email, but I forget - hey, it's been a year!) and he wanted to know why I kept chasing these younger men. I replied it was because no guy my age was interested in me. He replied, "What's to say this 38 year old isn't interested in you?"

My heart stopped. Two reactions - he's interested! Whoo-hoo! The other, "but we're friends, won't that mess it up?".

Turns out, no. In fact, it is the best thing in the world. We have tons to talk about and to share. But we are just different enough to keep things interesting and growing.

I agreed to date since we promised to keep the friendship in tact. We planned on October 18th. But before that, I invited J to the hayride on the 11th, and the rest is history. Each step redefined my life. Each step with J. And now, we are taking another step. A HUGE step into the rest of our lives. Today, J moves in with Gameboy and me. And my life changes again.

Ain't life grand?


**If any of these facts are wrong, please pardon me. My memory ain't what it used to be...but the point I am making is what is important here...

4 comments:

Jeff said...

The only factual change is that the "What's to say this 38 year old" line was in an e-mail exchange after I got back from Michigan...

Looking forward to it all, babe. You know we're going on that hay ride every year until we can't physically climb into the wagon, right?

grandmamargie said...

So sweet. And I love his above comment. And wow, he does pay attention to details. Have fun!

Domestic Goddess said...

Dude. He still leaves his crap everywhere. Get him a basket or something. Or else thirteen years later you will have SOME UNNAMED PERSON throwing their crap next to the sink on the kitchen counter and then complaining when the bills get wet. Just sayin'.

Adorable Girlfriend said...

This is one of the best posts I have ever read. What a difference a day makes...