Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bored?

Well, not really. I'm in that "so-stressed-out-I-can't-function" mode. I have found that I can rouse my butt to get to work, do what is necessary to make it through the day, go and get Gameboy and run him to his events, then get home and...

CRASH

Nothing

Nada

My brain is on hyper drive so much daily that by the time I walk into my domestic haven called a domicile, I am ready for mind-numbing nothingness.

It's been like this for at least 2 weeks. I am sure the overcast skies and continual rain don't help. I am also sure that Aunt Flo is late by at least the same 2 weeks. Coincidence? I think NOT. Still, it's really hard for me to focus on getting laundry done or doing the really difficult task of making a reasonable dinner. And don't tell me it's depression. It ain't. I know it is caused by the stress of MFE being a buttwad, my team at work turning against me and acting like I am SUDDENLY the worst supervisor ever (even though they were singing my praises just a short month or so ago), and Gameboy having such major anxiety and anger issues that he requires therapy. Seriously, I am at my wit's end. I am not sleeping well, either. I toss and turn and wake up several times a night with my mind racing faster than the Zephyr. And you wonder why I turn to the Captain from time to time? LOL If it weren't for J and his rock-solidness, I would crumble into a heap of babbling and drooling self pity.

So, I am not really bored. What I am is out of diversions to give me a break. Knitting isn't doing it for me (GASP! The HORROR!), TV is controlled by Gameboy, can't shop because I have no money, and it's freaking raining like we live in Seattle or something so I can't get out and DO something. In return, I have taken to spending mindless hours on the internets. Nothing of excitement, just trolling around looking for something that puts my brain into it's happy place. So far, haven't found it.....

Luckily, J comes home and I am suddenly into more *ahem* interesting diversions...

Speaking of which - it's probably saying too much (and if you aren't into TMI, you may want to stop reading here), but I'm gonna say it because that's just how I roll....the *ahem* is AMAZING! I can't help but want to shout it to the world because in my long 40 years, I have never been so happy with *ahem* or my own sexuality. J makes me feel so special and so loved. That opened the inner pron star in me :) I know, I know, but I did warn you. If you are still reading, then just know that I can't understand how people can go weeks, months, even YEARS, without *ahem*. They need to find the perfect person to unleash the freak within. Growing up I was taught (thank Stoic Catholicism for that) that *ahem* is bad, evil, or at least goes unspoken. Why? What is the purpose? *Ahem* between two committed adults in a loving and giving relationship is the most beautiful thing. Maybe that's what I discovered about myself with J - there is so much love there that I have become somewhat addicted to him and his ability to make me feel like I am beautiful, special, the only other person on earth. Truly a unique and gifted man :) So thanks J - if not for you, I would be sitting in a white padded room banging my head on the floor while rambling on and on about nothing in particular...

3 comments:

Jeff said...

"It ain't bragging if you can do it."
-- Dizzy Dean

And, yes, EVERYTHING can relate back to baseball.

Domestic Goddess said...

YOU GUYS WENT TO SECOND BASE ???!!!????!!!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

I know, DG. They aren't married!