Ok, must still be battling hormones, because in an instant today, my full on freakout mode returned. I had another lovely post planned, but decided to ditch it when I received an email from GB's teacher. She "noticed" that GB is not wearing the regulation uniform and stated that for the final week of school they are required to be properly dressed. I immediately felt my chest constrict, my breathing shallow, and small veins popping on the side of my head. WTF she "noticed"??? I sent in a note to her 2 weeks ago that he had suddenly outgrown his uniforms and I was looking for replacement pieces. I found a couple of shorts at Target, but they were all out of his size and style. I found a pair of pants. I hemmed them. The freaking problem is that I DON'T HAVE ANY MONEY and I have to now buy him uniform pants/shorts that cost FARGING TOO MUCH. Seriously, the shorts from the uniform company are $22!!!! Walmart has a similar pair for $12. Target has them for $10 (but they aren't available for another 6-8 weeks). So what am I supposed to do, sell my freaking blood to buy the shorts??? I ended up ordering a pair from Walmart just for next week. I overnighted them. They came to $18 after shipping was applied. I'm ok with this, because if I ordered them from the FARGING uniform company, they would cost $35 with shipping.
So, the reason I am freaking - I realized recently that I am in debt up to my eyeballs and beyond...and there is no way out. I am NEVER going to dig out of this hole. And it sucks, y'all. I had wanted desperately to believe that once I was divorced, that it would all work out for the better. Well, it sort of did, but not financially. My credit is in the toilet since I am still showing as responsbile on the exes house, as well as various loans he took out in both our names. Not to mention the fact that when I divorced, I nearly doubled my credit card debt because I needed things instantly and didn't have the money for them.
I can hear the lectures coming now. Seriously, keep them to yourself. I had to do what I had to do at the time. The thing is, I realized that I screwed up and now I have only the one credit card, which I WILL NOT USE. It needs to be paid off and that's all there is to it.
So here I sit. Feeling like EVERYONE and their brother is trying to bleed me dry. And now this teacher gets on her high and mighty horse and lectures me on having the proper attire for the FARGING last week of school? WTF? Give me a break, lady. I'm doing the best I can.