Wednesday, January 25, 2012

New Year

The past few weeks have flown by. Not really much is different, except for this ache I have in my heart for my Dad. And suddenly I am MUCH more attached to my husband and son. Last night I had a horrible dream about my Dad and I woke up crying. All I could do was hold my husband tight. I didn't want to let go of him for fear my dream would come true. It was unreasonable, and yet it felt so real. My rational self knows the pain will lessen over time.

I am also highly interested in the paranormal now. I was always a believer, or at least someone who wanted to believe but I needed proof. I am not sure I need proof anymore. I want so desperately to believe that something exists beyond this life. Not just for my Dad but for me. Of course my Dad is first in my mind. This is hitting harder than any of my grandparents dying. Wonder why?